“There are four qualities, Tiger, that lead to a family man’s happiness and well-being in this life. Which four? Getting good at his job; getting good at protecting his wealth; keeping good company; and balancing the books.
“And what does it mean to be good at one’s job? No matter how a family man makes his living—farming or retailing or ranching; being a soldier or a bureaucrat or a craftsman—when he gets clever at it, sticks with it, understands what needs to be done and masters the skills to do that, gets help when he needs it, and follows through to see that every task is completed successfully, then that’s called being good at the job.
“And what does it mean to be good at protecting one’s wealth? That’s when a family man has gained a measure of wealth, Tiger—gained it righteously, on his own initiative, by diligent effort, by using all his strength and sticking with it through the long haul, and then manages to hold it together, with the idea that nobody, neither tax collectors nor thieves, is going to steal it, that fire won’t destroy it nor floods wash it away, that undeserving heirs will never get their hands on it. That’s called getting good at protecting wealth.
“And what does it mean to keep good company? Here, Tiger, no matter where a family man lives, in city or village, he spends his time with people—parents and children, young or old—whose lives are good in every sense. Those are the people he talks with and shares ideas with. He learns to trust by following those who have gotten good at trusting; he becomes virtuous by following those who live virtuously; he learns to be generous by following those who act generously; he becomes wise by following those who have attained wisdom. All that is called keeping good company.
“And what does it mean to balance the books? If a family man measures his income against his expenses and leads his life in accord with those measurements, neither extravagantly nor in miserly fashion, he will know that his income will exceed his expenses and that his expenses will not exceed his income.
“Every goldsmith learns to hold a balance and to see precisely how far it dips, how far it rises; so a family man can put his income and expenses into the balance and know that he need be neither spendthrift nor miser, but live so that income does not fall below expenses, and expenses never outweigh income.
“Tiger, if a family man whose income is meager spends more than he has, people say he is like one who shakes the tree to get one apple; it won’t last long at that rate. If, on the other hand, one with a large income chooses to live like a beggar, people say, ‘His life will end in misery.’
“Keeping income and expenses under control, living a moderate life, neither spending more than you make nor keeping more than you need: that, Tiger, is called balancing the books.
“Now, there are four habits that will dissipate whatever wealth a family man may build: sexual adventuring, drinking and drugging, gambling, and hanging out with unworthy companions. If there is a large reservoir with four inlets and four outlets, and the person managing that reservoir opens all the outlets and closes the inlets, then the reservoir will surely drain, unless it rains forever. Just so, a person’s wealth will be surely drained as the direct result of sexual adventuring, drinking and drugging, gambling, and bad companions.
“There are four habits, again, that will lead to an increase in wealth. They are refraining from sexual adventuring, staying clean and sober, avoiding the gambling tables, and keeping good companions. Take that same reservoir. If the person managing it closes the outlets and opens the inlets, then the water level will rise with every rainfall, and it will not fall even in a drought. So one who does not betray his mate, who stays sober and clear-headed, who does not play games with chance, who keeps good company—that one will will surely increase his wealth.
“Now, Tiger, you’ve heard the four qualities that bring happiness and well-being to the family man’s life today.
“There are also four qualities that will insure happiness and well-being in the future, whatever that may bring.
“They are founding your life on faith, founding your life on virtuous behavior, founding your life on generosity, and founding your life on wisdom.
“How does a family man found his life on faith? With faith, Tiger, a family man accepts the enlightened perfection of the One Who’s Gone the Distance, the Tathagata. He knows this: the Blessed One is a pure spirit, fully enlightened, seeing the way and following it, getting it at every turn and getting it all, the only one able to tame those ready to be tamed, the teacher of gods and men, all-knowing, perfected. Knowing that, a family man builds the future on a foundation of faith.
“And how does a family man found his life on virtuous behavior? Quite simply, he does not kill, nor steal, nor abuse anyone sexually, nor speak to deceive or sow discord, nor use intoxicants that make him careless and stupid. Behaving in such a way, a family man builds the future on a foundation of virtue.
“And how does one found his life on generosity? Here, Tiger, a family man lives close to home, his mind unstained by greed, liberal in act and spirit, joyfully magnanimous, responsive to those in need, a happy alms-giver. Living thus, a family man builds the future on a foundation of generosity.
“And how does he found his life on wisdom? This is the case, Tiger, when the family man realizes this: everything that begins in time will end in time. That single truth penetrates appearances and leads to complete release from stress. Realizing this, a family man builds the future on a foundation of wisdom.”
This is my attempt to render into contemporary English one of my favorite suttas from the Pali canon, known variously as the Vyagghapajja Sutta or the Dighajanu Sutta, for the two names by which the Buddha’s questioner is called in the text (see first note, below). I’ve written this version after exhaustive reading of three translations, all by people who know Pali (which I do not) and who have spent their lives practicing the discipline of the Blessed One (which I have not). Two of those are on the web, available at the generally excellent
Access to Insight site:
There is also an excellent translation, a bit more abbreviated than those, and more contemporary in its style, in Bhikku Boddhi’s selection of suttas from the Anguttara Nikaya, Numerical Discourses of the Buddha (Chapter on the Eights).
I’m particularly fond of this sutta because, in it, the Buddha addresses a question that spiritual leaders seldom address – how can we find happiness in the life we’ve chosen in this world. And the answers he gives are entirely practical, and, in fact, reflect a shrewd understanding of the economics and operational realities of holding a job and heading a family.
Dighajanu means, literally, “long-kneed” or “long-shinned”; according to the commentaries, this was the questioner’s familiar name, what we would call his first name; his family name, by which the Buddha addresses him throughout the discourse, is Vyagghapajja, which translates literally as “Tiger’s Paw” or “Tiger’s Path”; I’ve chosen to use the abbreviated term “Tiger”, because it sounds more colloquial to a contemporary American ear without abandoning entirely the sense of the Pali.
This phrase is my attempt to translate the Pali sampada; the translations listed above translate the term as “accomplishment” or “[becoming] consummate at”; I think “getting good at” sounds right and is immediately understandable to a contemporary reader. The Buddha uses the same phrase in the second part of the discourse, when he’s talking about the qualities that one must develop to win happiness in future lives; there I’ve rendered it as “founding your life on”, which seems a bit loftier and more appropriate to the context.
In the original, this is simply “wood-apple eater”; the commentaries give it the gloss that I’ve brought into the body of the text, i.e. one who shakes the tree to get one apple.
See note, above, on “getting good at”.
The Buddha was known as the Tathagata, a name that has plagued translators for millenia. The literal meaning seems to be “thus-gone one”, and it probably refers to the fact that the Buddha has (1) gone further than any other seeker, and (2) discovered a path to truth that is his uniquely. I’ve chosen this phrase because it seems to indicate both of those senses, and it has, in addition, a suggestion of marvellousness to it that is appropriate to any talk of the Buddha. In the poem at the end, I’ve simply used the English “Thus Gone” as the name of the Buddha.
This is a formula, used in a lot of suttas, to declare one’s faith in the Buddha, his teaching, and the Sangha of initiates who carry that teaching through the world.
The New York Times reports on a talk that the Dalai Lama gave to more than 35,000 people in Rutgers Stadium, where he received an honorary degree. Two of the Tibetan monks sitting in the stadium bleachers remembered the first time that he spoke to an audience in the New York region, more than 25 years ago. Just a few hundred heard him then.
Over at 
Once, when the Blessed One was staying among the Koliyans, near their market town, 
There’s